Urrrr-rrruuu-rrruuuuurrrrr

Chewbaccaing - The act of peeling straight off a boulder problem as you touch the top hold, resulting in a sound reminicent of Chewbacca.

I had never bouldered outdoors before last Tuesday and because my mate, Three Minute Egg, and I are overly optimistic, we decided that trying to go after work was a REALLY GOOD IDEA.  It wasn't. With only one pad, some iffy landings, greasy rock and fading light, I couldn't, or more likely, wouldn't, get up anything.  Having fannied about at the bottom of an f3 for about 20 minutes, with no hope of progress, I was pretty despondent when we finally admitted defeat and headed to the pub for soft drinks and a flaccid burger.  However, rallied by vitamin C and caffeine, a new plan was formed...

Searching for holds in the dark

A few days later, my second attempt at bouldering was a far more pleasant experience, mainly because I could actually see the holds and because we had a branch of Bensons for Beds at the bottom of the problems.  I admit that I was pretty frightened to begin with, I lacked confidence and my climbing was mince, but after a few bail outs, I realised that my new mobile mattress was the business and I began to relax.  Having tackled the smallest and probably easiest problem at Brimham, I was buoyed on and back on the first problem took my first 'real' fall - with a healthy dose of Chewbacca thrown in.

Shitting myself on the first problem

The Lesser Spotted Chewbacca

As the day wore on, we moved between problems and although I found most of them way too hard, at least I kept trying.  Some of the rock was still pretty greasy and green so conditions were not ideal, but although I claimed my difficulties in getting up anything were due to having too much leg, it was pointed out that the problem was less to do with a physical inability and more to do with my mental unwillingness to push things to my real limit.

Unwilling to commit to a rockover!

Moving on, Three Minute Egg found himself an alleged f6B+ on the Blacksmith and gave his hands a proper pasting on the green slopers, while I took Facebook profile pictures, shouted useless encouragement and shivered in two down jackets.  It being Mothers' Day, there were plenty folk about and he even sparked the interest of the next generation of boulderers during his attempts.

Three Minute Egg working it on Cocoa Wall

Towards the end of the afternoon, we found ourselves back where we started and I was determined to get myself up that first problem.  Being reminded to breath, I thought calmly and logically about what I was doing and before I knew it, I was looking over the top.  Utilising a step up I couldn't see and the grace of a heavily pregnant seal trying to get up an Orcadian beach, I topped out my first f4+ (everyone has to start somewhere!). Having tried something else, I then returned to the easy f4 to end the day on a positive note.

Victory is mine!

In  the end I realised that it was not that I could not climb the first problem in the morning, rather that the fear and doubt in my own head made me believe that I couldn't and without the confidence to try, I was never going to do it.  By the afternoon, I had tried, failed, jumped, fallen, succeeded and backed off so many times that my fear had almost all evaporated and crucially, the psyche was now there to give it a good go.

In the end, as usual, it all came down to a head game and perhaps, although created in jest, our mantra, 'man up, stand up and just commit', really does hold true?