I'm fed up. This week appears to have been defined by the latent sexism that oozes from the outdoor world. I feel patronised, I feel voiceless and most of all I feel angry that in 2019, these attitudes still permeate our society.
Let's just create some background:
I have been going into the hills since I was 2 weeks old, at 2 months I was taken for my first camping trip. Every time the weather was OK, I was taken into the Scottish hills. When I was too small to walk all the way, I was carried, as I got older I learned to find a rhythm and to tuck right in behind my father. Every summer holiday involved 'wild' camping (I hate that term - it's called 'camping'). I have seen, and stayed in, numerous bothies, I have cycled into remote places to climb Munros and Corbetts. I grew up passing the time in a tent crawling over maps, and I can still sit for an hour enthralled by every name, every contour, every possible route, that I can see. I was taught to do an ice axe arrest so long ago, that I can't remember when it was. I didn't have crampons but was taught how to use my boots properly in snow and how to cut steps if I had to. Someone must have taught me to navigate, but that too is lost in the mists of time.
There was, of course, a teenage rebellion, but in my 20s, that love of the hill returned, even if time and my job stopped me doing all the things that I might have wished. In my late 20s I took up sea kayaking, became a coach and a sea kayak leader. I have paddled over the Pentland Firth (twice), I have landed on Muckle Flugga. I have paddled though big seas and tide races, been involved in quite serious situations. I used to be in my boat four times a week in summer. I started climbing in my early 30s, on Orkney sea cliffs, on grit, in the Lakes, in the Dales, in Wales, in the Highlands and in Spain. I've winter climbed in Scotland, stayed in the CIC and been on the Ben in a whiteout. I have witnessed terrible things when climbing, that no-one should ever have to see and I have become indelibly marked by those experiences.
I cycle-toured from South Uist to North Uist with my parents at the age of 8, more recently I have undertaken solo bikepacking trips in Border Country and in the Highlands. I've been with friends on long distance trips through the Lakes, Dumfries and Galloway, and North Wales and Anglesey and I cycled the Way of the Roses in two days with my club. Not to mention, the long distance day rides and cycling trip to Mallorca.
A few years ago, I became entranced by mountain running, moving fast and light through the hills, being away from the cars, the noise, from social media and real life. At first I tentatively ventured out onto the moors, clutching my map, just in case, but soon, I knew every inch of that place, every stone, every stride pattern, as I weaved through the gravel and stones. The hills I ran got bigger and although major injury got in the way, these environments were not new and I realised that all my preexisting experience was valid, it was merely being applied in a different way.
In another walk of life, I am a researcher, I hold a high level research degree (PhD), I am trained to think critically, to take in multiple strands of information and to pick and choose which bits of that information are relevant. I have presented my work at international conferences, published in international journals. I spent most of the first 11 years of my career working outside. I know how to make decisions and to justify those decisions. This thought process applies equally to academic research and to decision making in the mountains or in a sea kayak.
I am sure there are many other things that I have done that I have forgotten about, but in short, what I am trying to get across is that even though I am female, I did not just come up the Clyde on a bike. I have experienced numerous things that you probably know nothing about and I am absolutely fed up of being patronised, by men, with regards to what I do in the outdoors. I am sick of the presumption that I must be clueless, merely because I have a vagina.
This week, yet again, I have had 'well done' because I posted some pictures of a mountain run - what's 'well done' about that? I used a map, planned a route and went out and did it. I took some pictures because it was, at times, picturesque. I haven't achieved anything special, there was no major race involved, or a major goal set out. Would you say 'well done' to a man? No, you would say 'looks like a great day out', 'I really like it round there', 'Have you been to X place nearby?'. So next time, think about why you are saying 'well done'. First imagine that the poster is male and if you think it would be weird or patronising to say 'well done' to a man, then don't say it to me.
Then of course, there was the outdoor clothing question. I want something to wear for mountain running when it is a bit mizzly/drizzly/windy that will still breath well under my shell because I want to avoid putting my shell on early and then getting cold because I don't want to take it off/it takes ages to faff about/I can't find shelter to put extra layers on. I want to start with a (somewhat) water repellent layer and put my shell on much later in the day. Makes perfect sense to me. But no, I obviously didn't know what I was asking. What I wanted was a unicorn. I really should buy this brand. I still really didn't know what I was asking and the piece de resistance - an essay on what one man wears, what he carries, when he puts x garment on, when he takes y garment off.
Well chaps, I hope you realise you made me feel like utter crap during that whole thread. You did not listen to what I was saying, I had to explain and explain and explain again what I was asking, even though it was perfectly eloquently outlined in the beginning. You did not credit me with the intelligence to know what I was asking for and why I was asking (if you must know it was because I had become very cold on a mountain run and I had gone away and analysed what might have improved the situation, you know, using that big analytical brain that I have...). You did not ASK me what I am wearing to run in at the moment, why I felt I needed this other layer, instead, you talked down to me and told me things that, strangely enough, I already know. I don't need to be told your synthetic down is only for emergencies, or that you have a bivvy bag. What the hell do you think I carry? Washing up liquid and some marigolds, just in case there is a washing up opportunity en route? And if I say I am NOT interested in a particular brand, do not continue by bullying me and telling me over and over that I am wrong. Accept my decision. Do not presume that I don't know what I am talking about, instead, listen to me say 'I am not interested' and leave it at that.
There have been other exchanges this week that cumulatively have just left me feeling drained. It is as if it does not matter what I say, or what experiences I have had, my voice just does not get heard. I feel like I am shouting but no one is listening. My opinion on something related to the outdoors, more often than not, is simply not considered valid. Time and time again, a man has to have the last word, has to assume that he knows better.
I also feel obliged to make it clear (before the chorus starts) that not every man into the outdoors is patronising and condescending, but there are far too many who are, and far too many who may believe that they are not, but who need to think more deeply about their attitudes to women who share similar interests. Would you 'take the missus wild camping' or would you 'go wild camping with my partner'? Better still, would you let your girlfriend take the lead on a trip because you are happy to acknowledge that she knows more about whatever you are doing than you do?
Sexism has been present throughout entire my life and I am tired of battling with it, tired of trying to be heard. I am an immensely capable person, with tons of life experience, good and bad. Stop assuming you know more than me. Stop treating me like my opinions are invalid. Forget about my sex and treat me like the equal that, at the very least, I quite obviously am.